Nov. 22nd, 2015

misguidance: (prisoner)
 I have now been awake for over 24hours.  This is due to a migraine that will not leave, and which is refusing to be controlled with painkillers.  I am exhausted.  I have missed 2 shifts at work, which is killing me.  I actually feel guilty for being ill, and- as I always do when I miss work- I am terrified of losing the only job I've ever had that I have actually, genuinely cared about. 

In short, I am in a mess.  I am exhausrted, in pain, and depressed to a level that I have not felt for years.  And all I cam think is that I really, really want is a hug.  It has been literally years since I felt any kind of real physical closeness (not even talking about sex, either- just companionable physical contact) and that is a very sad thing indeed.  My life is supposed to be improving, but right now, it really feels as if it's falling apart completely. 

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misguidance

January 2016

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