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Surreal Morning.
Jul. 17th, 2013 01:05 pm****This post is going to talk a little bit about my adoption, including some talk about the abuse I suffered as a very young child. If that's a triggering or emotive topic for anyone then please be aware before reading.****
( Cut cos it's long )
was also hoping that there would be some information about my various foster homes, but there wasn't. I know I was abused at at least one of them, possibly sexually since I showed signs of that at later assessments. That might have happened before I went into care, though, and I suppose I will never actually know. >_<
The one thing that I did find that was interesting is the full name of the man who is almost certainly my biological father. I always knew his first name, and the fact that he was from Iran. With his second name, I must admit, I couldn't resist googling him. And I think I may actually have found him. O__o That is to say, I have found a Facebook profile for a man of the right kind of age, with the right name, and who has a daughter of my old name listed under his family. There's no details for this daughter- no profile linked to the name, no age.... just the name. He has another daughter now, who does have a profile, and I know that my birth father was aware that I existed. If this is the man, then he's obviously a lot older now, but I can't decide if he looks like the bloke in the one picture I have from my adoption notes. :/ It could be him. I just can't be certain.
And now I'm not sure what to do. If it is him, should I introduce myself? I have never had much of an urge to meet or speak to my biological family, since my adoptive parents have given me everything I need, emotionally, and I consider them my family 100%. But if this is him, then has he been left wondering about me? If this is him, is that why my old name is listed there, because he was aware of this child that he never had any say over? It noted in the documents that my biological mother refused to give any details other than his name, and then claimed he wasn't my father once social services said they wanted to contact him. >_> It sounds as if she really didn't want him involved at all... but doesn't he have a right to know what happened to his kid?
At the same time, it could be too big a can of worms to open. I am no longer the little girl he might have been thinking of all these years. I have a family of my own. Is it worth upsetting his life, even just to ask, when he might not want to know the truth? And man... if it's not him... how embarrasing would that be for all involved? <__<;
So yeah, kind of at a loss of what to do. I could live without knowing, but at the same time, I am a naturally curious person and this is a great mystery.
( Cut cos it's long )
was also hoping that there would be some information about my various foster homes, but there wasn't. I know I was abused at at least one of them, possibly sexually since I showed signs of that at later assessments. That might have happened before I went into care, though, and I suppose I will never actually know. >_<
The one thing that I did find that was interesting is the full name of the man who is almost certainly my biological father. I always knew his first name, and the fact that he was from Iran. With his second name, I must admit, I couldn't resist googling him. And I think I may actually have found him. O__o That is to say, I have found a Facebook profile for a man of the right kind of age, with the right name, and who has a daughter of my old name listed under his family. There's no details for this daughter- no profile linked to the name, no age.... just the name. He has another daughter now, who does have a profile, and I know that my birth father was aware that I existed. If this is the man, then he's obviously a lot older now, but I can't decide if he looks like the bloke in the one picture I have from my adoption notes. :/ It could be him. I just can't be certain.
And now I'm not sure what to do. If it is him, should I introduce myself? I have never had much of an urge to meet or speak to my biological family, since my adoptive parents have given me everything I need, emotionally, and I consider them my family 100%. But if this is him, then has he been left wondering about me? If this is him, is that why my old name is listed there, because he was aware of this child that he never had any say over? It noted in the documents that my biological mother refused to give any details other than his name, and then claimed he wasn't my father once social services said they wanted to contact him. >_> It sounds as if she really didn't want him involved at all... but doesn't he have a right to know what happened to his kid?
At the same time, it could be too big a can of worms to open. I am no longer the little girl he might have been thinking of all these years. I have a family of my own. Is it worth upsetting his life, even just to ask, when he might not want to know the truth? And man... if it's not him... how embarrasing would that be for all involved? <__<;
So yeah, kind of at a loss of what to do. I could live without knowing, but at the same time, I am a naturally curious person and this is a great mystery.
