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misguidanceI'm coming up to the end of my first month at work, and my life pretty much goes like this:
On a work day:
-get up stupidly early.
-feel too tired/groggy to eat breakfast.
-try not to fall asleep on bus.
-get lunch break at somewhere between 3 and 5pm.
-go home, eat something quick and easy (and not very healthy)
-shower
-pass out.
On a day off:
-wake up briefly at the time my alarm goes off on a work day.
-get up, drink some water.
-got back to bed.
-wake up some time around 2pm.
-stare at computer.
-maybe play some Witcher 3.
-shower.
-pass out.
I have done pretty much zero writing, drawing, or even knitting. The stress of being qualified is immense, and while I DO love my job, it's hard to feel like things have improved much. However, tomorrow I get paid (according to HR), so at least some of my stress will be reduced by the knowledge that I will actually be able to pay off my bills this month.
I know that I will adjust to this and it will get easier once my confidence grows, but right now I'm such a mess that I just caught myself crying while watching Cyber City Oedo 808. That's a blood-filled, tough-as-nails cyberpunk anime that I have watched dozens of times, and for some reason I'm sitting here sobbing because somebody couldn't hack a computer fast enough.
So yeah. All good over here, clearly.
On a work day:
-get up stupidly early.
-feel too tired/groggy to eat breakfast.
-try not to fall asleep on bus.
-get lunch break at somewhere between 3 and 5pm.
-go home, eat something quick and easy (and not very healthy)
-shower
-pass out.
On a day off:
-wake up briefly at the time my alarm goes off on a work day.
-get up, drink some water.
-got back to bed.
-wake up some time around 2pm.
-stare at computer.
-maybe play some Witcher 3.
-shower.
-pass out.
I have done pretty much zero writing, drawing, or even knitting. The stress of being qualified is immense, and while I DO love my job, it's hard to feel like things have improved much. However, tomorrow I get paid (according to HR), so at least some of my stress will be reduced by the knowledge that I will actually be able to pay off my bills this month.
I know that I will adjust to this and it will get easier once my confidence grows, but right now I'm such a mess that I just caught myself crying while watching Cyber City Oedo 808. That's a blood-filled, tough-as-nails cyberpunk anime that I have watched dozens of times, and for some reason I'm sitting here sobbing because somebody couldn't hack a computer fast enough.
So yeah. All good over here, clearly.
