misguidance: (thoughtful)
[personal profile] misguidance
So, I've just finished negotiating with an incredibly talented artist, who is going to design a chest tattoo for me.  I've been debating for a long time about getting my chest done, ever since my fairly disastrous experience with getting nipples tattooed back on after my surgery.  To be honest, the resulting scarring has left me with only two options: ask my tattooist to re-do the nipples, or write the whole lot off and get the whole area covered up.  I've decided to go with the latter.

The only thing is, I'm fat.  You guys all know that, but I don't have a nice, clean well-defined chest area.  I have saggy man-boobs with a massive scar that runs underneath them.  I know it's a part of my body that I will always feel self concious about, but now I have the chance to have some really stunning art put on it, and I'm actually worried that the shape of my body is going to make it look bad (and that shape will never be much improved- the way my surgery was done means that I will always have a moob kind of shape, because it was done to suit a fat guy.  Also, let's not be delusional here- I happy being fat, and I'm never going slim down to the point where I *could* have beautifully defined and toned pecks.  That's just not who I am.)

This has raised a whole new level of insecurity for me, like I'm actually worrying about ruining a design with my gross skin. -___-;  Even though the end result (like all my tattoos) is more for me than it is for anybody else.  I wasn't really prepared for this much worry about something that is supposed to make me like my chest more, rather than less.

This is the artist's etsy shop, by the way- she does some awesome adult colouring pages, for those of you who are into that.   And also, the pictures are just awesome. ;)



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January 2016

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